Mission Chemo Accomplished!

Well...I'm officially done with Chemo treatments!  I just have to thank God for getting me through it!  Chemotherapy is no joke.  They have come so far with medications to help you combat the side effects of taking the treatments and I, quite frankly, can't imagine how horrible it was before because it's still sucks REALLY bad!  The worse of the side effects are gone and I am very excited to know they are gone for good!  But, I have no hair, I've officially lost 5 fingernails (I'm sure 3 others will follow soon enough, but I think my thumb nails will stick around, they look ok).   I can't walk more than 100 yards without having to sit down and rest or stand in one position for more than a couple minutes.  I feel like an 80 year old lady and I look a little like an albino with no eyebrows or eyelashes and my very pale skin!  I still swell some by the end of the day, so my joints hurt and my face looks puffy.  To top it all off, I know that I still have to make it through surgery and recovery and then do 7 weeks of radiation (driving to Birmingham every day Monday through Friday).  You know what though....what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger!!!!  Physically I've changed a little.  I do look different for now, but my hair and nails will grow back.  I will get my muscle strength back and the swelling with stop eventually.  More importantly though, I feel like my spirit has changed.  I've learned about myself...about God and His love for me...and about what true friendship looks like.  I've been forced to slow down and reevaluate my priorities.  I've realized that the sense of control I thought I had over my life was really an illusion.  I've learned to surrender my fears to the Lord and trust in His will.  I have to admit that learning that lesson isn't ever easy, but it's a lot easier when you have no choice.   The phrase, "When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade" comes to mind...but it doesn't really work that way.  We think that's the lemon is only ingredient we'll need, but then we realize that there's more to it than that...we need some sugar too.  Instead it's more like when life hands you a lemon, give it to God and he'll send you back some lemonade.  He will step in and fill in the holes in our life.  He'll provide what we need, even when we didn't know we needed it.   I know that I'm not perfect and there will be times when I try to control my life, but I have a much deeper understanding that God has a path prepared for me and I won't always understand why He leads me certain ways, but I will always know that it's because He loves me and is working for my good.  I wish I could say that I was a rock throughout my treatments....but I can't.  Some days, I really and truly thought that I would feel that way for the rest of my life.  I cried buckets of tears and begged God to help me feel better.  He always helped me feel better, but it wasn't usually that very second (which I would have preferred, LOL!).  He never failed to provide encouragement, whether it was through someone visiting or a phone call, an email, a card, something my husband said to me, or even a commercial on television.  I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again and again...Thank you to each and every person who takes time out of their day to say a prayer for me and my family.  Prayer is not, "the only thing I can do", it's THE most powerful thing that you can do!!!!