Day 3 and 4

Day 3: We got up a little later than normal, but still relatively early.  We got ready and got Ashlyn ready for school.  We dropped her off and headed to Birmingham to the Dr.'s office for me to get a Nuelasta shot.  When we were finished, we headed out on our search for hair.  We drove to Hoover to look at a shop that had been recommended, but unfortunately they aren't open on Mondays.  We stopped into Firehouse Subs for lunch.  I wanted to enjoy getting to go out to lunch before I have to start being extra careful about being around crowds.  Loss of appetite has been really bad for me.  It's not that food smells bad or even tastes bad...I just don't feel hungry.  After lunch, we headed back to Tuscaloosa.  We stopped at David's office to get my computer back so that I can work from home when I need to.  We made a second stop at a boutique at DCH's cancer center.  We found a really good hairpiece and it is being ordered now.  I'm alot more nervous about losing my hair than I thought I would be.  I don't even wear scarves, so I've got to get some and figure out how to tie them.  I just don't think I can walk around without my head covered.  I know it's silly, but it's how I feel.  David was so amazingly helpful (as usual)!  He picked out the perfect hair color once we got the style down.  When we were done at DCH, David dropped me off at the office to meet with my boss about arrangements for work and he ran over to pick Ashlyn up from school.  We had a hugely busy day in my book.  I think I might have overdone it just a little bit, but it felt good to get things checked off the to-do list.  I didn't feel overly horrible, just everything took alot of exertion.  Something that I could do for 45 minutes before getting winded and tired before only took 10 minutes before I had to rest.  My heart just felt like it was racing to keep up all day long.  Having my mom here to help has been wonderful.  She got us all caught up on laundry and ran a bunch of errands for me.  Just having her shoulder to cry on was what I really needed.  She is encouraging and supportive and I am blessed to be her daughter.  After what felt like a really long day, I went to bed a little early.
Day 4: David got up and got ready and I got up and helped get Ashlyn ready for school.  Ashlyn is having some trouble adjusting to our new routine.  She knows Mommy doesn't stay home even when Daddy takes her to school - she knows Mommy is about to leave too, but that hasn't been the case for the last few days so I think she is confused.  She is two and this is a hard time for any kid, but extra prayers for Ashlyn would be appreciated.  This is the first day I stayed home all day.  Anyone who knows me knows that staying home all day is not my idea of fun.  I like to be around people.  I went back to bed to get some extra rest for a couple hours, then I got up and got started back to work.  I am so blessed to be working with wonderful women who are so supportive and are helping me do my job from home when I need to.  I'm hoping I'll be able to get into a good routine of what days I can go into the office and what days I have to stay home, but I know that I just have to take it one day at a time.  My mom had to leave this afternoon and I know I will miss her.  I called the doctor today because I wasn't feeling nausea so much as heartburn.  I started some Tagamet and it seemed to help.  David dropped Ashlyn off from school and headed back out to grab some dinner and some other items we needed.  He is so strong.  I am so lucky to have him in my life.  I can't imagine what he is feeling right now, but I know he is as overwhelmed as I am.  Day times I don't feel so back, but nights are a little worse.  I've been getting hot flashes and they wake me up.  I think I woke up 9 times last night.  Ashlyn didn't go to sleep easily and then she woke up extra early.  Hopefully she'll settle back into her routine soon.  I hate seeing her struggle.  I get overwhelmed really easy when I think about how long I'll be doing treatments and then I'll have surgery, then radiation too.  I'm trying to just think about each day at a time, but that is hard.  I'm praying that God's peace will still my soul.  Still trying to focus on my blessings because they are so evident!